A Good Life

I'm back - to the Blogosphere and to the real world after an extended weekend in Charleston with Daniel!

If I had been in any sort of lull, had time to myself ever in the months before, May is putting a stop to it. With my husband's and my first anniversary, my sister's wedding and all the events that surround it, and the making-ready for our trip to Ireland in June, I have been a complete creature of preparation, planning, practice, bridal shower and - only a little - stressing. But not that much of the last one. They are happy things, these events - memory-makers and the stuff of nostalgia. But now and then I have to slow the clicking frames in my mind and see clearly, even smell and touch, the lovely things and moments in what rushes by. If I don't, this life will not have been worth even the lifting of the chest for breath.

Sometimes I have thought that what we are all really pursuing here on our planet is happiness. Lots of people would argue and say, no, success is what people want, or love, or freedom. But what are those things without happiness, without that secretive, beautiful thing called joy? Nothing. At least not to me. Sure, those things can create happiness and joy, but not for everyone.

Today at work, my boss stopped by my desk on the way to his office. "How was your weekend?" he asked. Of course, he was referring to my anniversary trip for which I had taken Friday off last week.

I beamed, I'm sure, and said, "It was so nice," and paused a moment. Then I added, "I just wish it didn't have to end."

My boss shifted on his feet a little and replied through a sarcastic grin, "All good things come to an end, Shannon."

I smiled back at his jest and nodded, an olive leaf. But when he walked away to his office I sat replaying his statement in my head and the tinge of seriousness in his voice when he said it. In times before, I have realized by the reactions and comments of others in the office - all people at least eight years my senior - that they think I'm a young grasshopper with many life lessons yet to learn. My boss counts as one of the top holders of this opinion, making sure most he gives me a good impression of how much your life is not yours anymore when you have children, and generally giving off "It must be nice for you...," and "Enjoy it while you can...," vibes.

Several moments after I had been rolling the pebble of his statement, "All good things must come to an end," around in my mind, I realized I heartily disagree with him. I even googled the phrase. I found a website called The Phrase Finder, which says that the phrase dates back all the way to the 14th century and the time of Chaucer, where it originated as the English proverb, "All things must come to an end." The "good" wasn't added until much later. But to me, without the "good", it is a completely different statement.

Sure, all things - moments, feelings, journeys, lines at the grocery store, conversations...lives - must end. It's a fact (that is unless you want to get theoretical and mathematical about it). But even if that thing is a good thing, take, for instance, an anniversary weekend in Charleston, it may end but that doesn't mean more good things shouldn't or can't follow. The attitude I sensed in my boss was one of, "Your life may be nice right now, but you just wait." Well, I'm waiting, but I'm waiting with a purpose, being that whatever my life holds for me and those I love, I refuse to feel that I am always waiting on things to get worse.

I'm a firm believer in the idea that a person's perspective will create his or her world. A person can lose everything she owns, be left completely alone having lost everyone she loves, or be in the center of a tornado and still note the beauty of life and value its every fiber. On the other side of the coin is the person who has everything he could want, be blessed with loved ones and still find things to make him miserable. I'm not saying sadness or anger or even depression are not parts of life that we all have. But we can pull ourselves up and focus on what's good and lovely in the world.

I say all this because of my boss, because my life is boring many days. I have lost loved ones, and I have lost respect where I desired to keep it. But I carry on. I look at the earth - the sky, the greens of the trees and the many deep colors and dimensions around me and know that the same life force holds and balances it all - including me. And because I am blessed with true love and a sound mind, I do not just carry on, I hunger for more.

So Tom (my boss): I don't care if I have eleven children just like my grandma did on my father's side - I will allow them to bring me all the joy I can receive from them. I will continue to love my husband above anyone else and desire him above all else.

And I will not let the Good end in me, as long as I breathe.