Sticking to the Plan

I’ve recently been questioning the idea of writing intimate details about myself, sans alias, in a blog. It got me in a little fix at work, and I have been hesitant about continuing to write what I feel and go through in the days following. It wasn’t that big of an issue with my boss in reality, but just the fact that someone said, “No, stop,” at all was enough to take my hands off the keys completely for a bit. I believe in complete intellectual, and therefore, writing freedom, but those who take that freedom up should be prepared to answer for what they write (in my case, when I write as well). I didn’t see it coming, so I wasn’t prepared.

It won’t stop me though. See, here I am, and hopefully will be in days to come (with a much smaller gap between posts). So don’t lose faith in me, those of you who are readers of my blog: family, friends, and people I don’t know, though I’m pretty sure there are much more of the first two than the last one. I’m not shot down easily.

I even started losing my emotional footing while I couldn’t write (blogging is currently my most continuous writing outlet). Though I wrote a couple of fragments of things, put them aside and sent one to be judged for a contest, the satisfied aura of having written a few lines I actually like fades until I do it again the next day, or whenever it happens that I do it again. Having a definite place to set out some scenes and images for anyone to read has become a kind of nestling place where I can settle down in and roll out of being recharged emotionally. I can’t give that up and be a complete person.

If I have to have one outside of my husband and my home, if I can’t remember why I’m where I am, if I need one to tell my stories as a human, a child, a lover, a believer, a reader – this blog is my happy place. It’s become what I created it to be, and that is the most beautiful thing when you set out to create something.

Whoever is out there reading this right now, I have an idea. I’d thought about putting some fiction I write on my blog. Not whole ones, of course, just parts and pieces so I can use them in the future and they won’t be considered “published”. Anything I put on here would, of course, still follow the Pancake Plan of finding beauty and happiness in life, however abstractly or subtly. What do you think?